How To Deal With A Control Freak Sibling
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The “CONTROL FREAK” Sibling
We often hear from folks dealing with this dynamic after a parent’s passing. Maybe they weren’t named administrator, or maybe they were, but either way, you’re stuck navigating their controlling tendencies. So, what can you do?
First Tactic: Feed Their Ego
My years of experience dealing with control freak sellers taught me a valuable trick: feed their ego, strategically. It’s like giving them the steering wheel, but you control the gas pedal. How? By giving them options.
Hear them say something, however outlandish? Acknowledge it! “Hey, that’s an interesting idea, Susie. But what if we also considered X or Y?” Let them voice their (likely strong) opinion, and even “win” sometimes. Remember, the final decision is yours, not theirs. Just wrap it in the illusion of control.
Second Tactic: Collaborate
Another tactic: collaborate strategically. “Susie, Johnny and I discussed, and think this approach works best. But hey, we value your input! What are your thoughts?” This gives them a say, without surrendering the reins.
It’s a delicate dance, but by stroking their ego and offering calculated choices, you can guide even the most controlling seller to the finish line.
And they might express, “Oh, well, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Utilizing online resources can assist you in navigating this situation more effectively. By providing them with a sense of control and assigning tasks, you can still maintain a degree of management over their actions.
Third Tactic: Acknowledge The Frustration
It’s important to acknowledge the frustration that can arise. Some individuals may exhibit strong controlling tendencies, unwilling to relinquish control. Additionally, it’s worth recognizing that for some, adopting a controlling demeanor may serve as a coping mechanism in response to the loss of a loved one. Their stress, anxiety, and grief manifest in this way because they’re facing a situation beyond their control, and exerting control elsewhere becomes their coping mechanism of choice.
If you find yourself in such a situation, I urge you to consider grief counseling for yourself and your family members, regardless of whether you believe it’s necessary.
Speaking From Personal Experience
I was once resistant to seeking counseling, believing I could handle everything on my own. However, just over a year ago, my wife and I confronted a serious health issue with one of our sons, a diagnosis that seemed terminal. I eventually sought counseling to help cope with the situation. While our son is still with us today and defying the odds, we understand the harsh reality that one day, the outcome may not be as favorable.
I sought therapy and attended multiple sessions with a therapist. I can attest that simply conversing with a professional made a remarkable difference in how I felt. It alleviated a significant burden and enabled me to confront my challenges more effectively.
Sometimes, certain individuals may not be the right confidants for discussing such matters. It’s important to recognize that when dealing with challenging situations, such as having a controlling sibling, their behavior may stem from their own stress and anxieties. While you may not be able to persuade them to seek therapy, leading by example could be beneficial. Perhaps you could initiate therapy sessions, and if you have other siblings, they might follow suit, even if they opt for different therapists within the same practice.
Therapists often avoid seeing you and your siblings together due to potential conflicts of interest and boundary issues. However, leading by example may help them understand your perspective better. I highly recommend considering this approach.
Let’s Connect
If you need referrals to therapists in your area, I’d be more than happy to assist you. We collaborate with numerous therapists, some of whom contribute content to our website.
I hope this video provides you with some valuable insights and tips for navigating your situation. When dealing with an estate and contending with a controlling sibling, there are strategies to grant them a sense of control while still maintaining some influence by acknowledging and validating their concerns.
I’m Brad from probateresource.com. If you’ve inherited a property and are looking for a quick, hassle-free cash offer, we’ve got you covered. We purchase houses nationwide and strive to make the process as seamless as possible for you.
Visit our website at probateresource.com to check out testimonials from other satisfied sellers. Alternatively, if you prefer the traditional route, I collaborate with an exceptional network of real estate agents specializing in probate and inheritance sales across the country. We’d be delighted to connect you with one of these agents to help list your property on the market. Thank you for tuning in.